The Ghosts of Academia

Being in a college town brings a marked change in season come mid-August. Some college towns may start the semester without much change in the environment, but here, everything is different. Lifestyles require adjusting, especially our driving habits, restaurant patronization, and shopping. Even the way we drive should be adjusted, as those out of state people and young whippersnapper drivers take many more chances with turning in front of people, stopping suddenly, and not paying attention.
Those are some of the more obvious changes that signal the change of the season. What I never realized, until now, after having spent several, several seasons noting the change in the air, the traffic, the life I live at this time of year, is realizing I unconsciously re-live the feelings of starting college for the first time, every August that I'm here: my mom driving me to the dorm doorstep, helping me carry the possessions I chose to accompany me to my new home, boxes of books, paintings, blankets, clothes, and other things I didn't want to live without; the feeling of expectation and anticipation, not knowing what adventures are in store for me, thinking about what I expected college would bring and then gradually living it out, each time, the anticipation and good feeling gradually wearing off as reality set in with worries about being on my own, worries about finances, being down to my last $11 on a regular basis, problems with boyfriends, meeting shady people, working in jobs where people are cruel and demeaning, overcrowding, parking problems, and going to countless classes with hundreds and hundreds of strangers who talk to each other with mindless small talk, me being silent most of the time and listening to people who actually know each other, and taking pages and pages and pages of notes, noticing that my classes were more challenging in high school and that I received a better education in a small-town public school before I got to college.
Now that I realize that I unconsciously or subconsciously re-live those feelings each August that I'm here, I feel more compassion for those who are here and away from home for the first time. It's exciting, but may, for a lot of people, turn out to have a fair amount of negativity in the experiences that are supposed to be the best years of a person's life. Maybe it's just me.