Monday, February 18, 2013

Feeling the pull back and forth of how much a person gives versus how much he gets back are physics and mathematical problems, I believe. Someone told me he gives as much attention and love to a person as he receives, always, and he calls it the boomerang effect. Doing it on purpose is one thing, but when it happens unconsciously and both people are always giving everything they've got to each other, the effect can be a wonderful equilibrium of bliss and happiness and ultimate fulfillment. I wonder if the law of physics warrants this equal trade of energy and attention. It's draining and terribly disappointing if you give more energy, creative energy, thought, and attention and don't get the same back; eventually, or very soon, one will encounter a lack of will to keep giving and not getting back at the same level, and then it feels all very conditional. It's hard not to be disappointed in myself for putting out all that energy and not getting the same back, because I already know it will lead to disappointment, and hollow expectations, and I do it anyway.