Oh, well

How cold was it today? You know. It was probably about 35 degrees. I tried for company at lunch, but both people I asked to go out to get something brought their lunches. I gave myself the choice between a convenient and quick $8 lunch at a convenience store or a $4 lunch at Subway, with a brisk walk in the cold. I feel defeated when I reluctantly make myself walk across the street from the office and get lunch at a conveniently located store. They do have some freshly made items like tuna salad sandwiches, strombolis, chef salads, and red velvet cake, though. The last time I opted for the salad, the iceburg lettuce was brown and I ate a bad tomato. It looked alright but it didn't taste all right. So instead of being defeated by the lure of the convenience of the convenience store, I braved the icy cold wind and snow and walked for awhile to get to my destination of Subway. I passed two lone walkers on the trail that leads there. I felt prepared and wise with my hat and gloves, but I didn't have the shoes for it. I made sure to look up at the sky and down at the river to appreciate the elements -- more than just a little bit of blue sky and clouds, and the brown, rippling water of the river, higher than its usual level, and the fresh air, although tinged with exhaust from the vehicles on the construction site I passed. The cheerfulness and the camaraderie of the people who work at that particular Subway make me feel happy every time I go there. I dropped an olive in my sleeve and it surprised me later when I felt something mysteriously wet and cold in the middle of my sleeve. The Subway guy thought it was funny.
On my way home from work, I was stuck in traffic. It was completely stopped on my regular path to pick up my child. It's a seven-minute drive to get to where I need to pick her up. After five minutes of sitting in the car at a complete stop, about seven minutes til the absolute last time to pick her up, I called to say I was stuck in a standstill in traffic and would be late, even though I had left the office with plenty of time to pick her up, with time to spare. I was told, "We're going to start enforcing our late policy, and you're going to have to pay the late fee." This was the first time this year I'd been late. Out of the seven years of taking my children to this place, this was only about the second time I had been late. I guess I was the example. I guess it doesn't matter that you're stuck in your car with no escape around completely stopped traffic. I tried to go around it by taking a side street, only to end up in the middle of what seemed to be the problem. A gigantic truck, the kind that usually has a truck with it, displaying a sign warning of a "wide load" on the highway, was stuck in the road and couldn't get up the hill. I decided to go the long way around, via interstate, and, of course, was late and had to pay the late fee. Not really a big deal, but if it happens two more times then she will be removed from the program altogether. Then I am thinking, "I don't know what I will do." Sometimes life makes you feel like you're just hanging by a thread. I only have between 5:30 p.m. and 6 p.m. to pick her up, because they only want you to pick up your children at certain times because of some grant policy to guarantee that they will be using the rest of the afternoon for "instructional time." And with the unpredictable traffic in this town, and very few alternative routes for when certain roads are blocked, it is inevitable that you cannot always arrive at your destination on time or precisely when you aim to be somewhere. Am I always just supposed to plan for a possible accident and leave three times as early as I need to? Impossible. I feel as if I failed somehow today to not account for a possible road block.