Post Break

The weather had a balminess to it that called to everyone to be outside to take in the early spring energy. I took a quick, uphill/downhill walk, swept off the back porch, found a porch chair and watched the sunset. I realize now that I do need a few more household items --- a table and chairs that are waterproof and deck-worthy. I guess that explains why, as soon as Valentine's Day is over, stores swiftly usher in the seasonal furniture.

I tried to leave work early today because I had a very full day, no lunch break, and too much stress --- the kind of mental stress that makes you want to be catatonic for a few hours, or at least take a nap. Since I usually work more than an hour longer than I need to every day, it feels unnatural to leave any earlier than I usually do. Developing a keen sense of time, routines and habits begins to sink in as one gets older. When I was a teenager, I hated routine. I hated lists. I hated a life that was absent from spontaneity. This had something to do with living with a very organized, completely unspontaneous, list-dependent parent. Now, I see that the perfectly organized time compartments that fill a day wouldn't be the life I know without them.

Yesterday, I made a list before I went to the grocery store, something I very rarely do, something that makes me feel like I am giving in to the trappings of a normal, pre-planned life, kind of like having a pre-need funeral contract. It was kind of an experiment I wanted to try, to see if I actually planned the meals and bought only for what I planned, whether I would save money. I spent about $30 less than I usually do, and I bought a few things that weren't on the list. The store that my list and I patronized has carrot-cake ice cream. I didn't have to labor over what I was going to cook for dinner. It was actually kind of amazing. A pre-need food contract. I think I like it.