Gender-based tragedies, with a happy ending

Last year at this time I went to a fund raiser that was only for females. Within weeks of that event, I went to a party to which only females were invited. Both times, I was happy to have been invited. Both were awkward. Part of it was not knowing any of the guests very well, and part of it was that I felt something was missing. Back before boys thought we were interesting, we girls had non-stop fun together: we had our slumber parties, silly pranks, secrets, jokes, phone calls and games. But not anymore. Those girls gradually slipped away with their boyfriends, husbands, kids and their in-laws.
Tonight I had dinner with three other women, and it was really nice. Our original agenda involved patronizing the aforementioned female-only fund raiser for the second year in a row, but we elected instead for a quieter night of la trattoria, where a place to sit is guaranteed and you don't have to search for a refill. I liked the stories I heard. We all listened to each other. We laughed. We lamented. We learned. We had good food. We will do it again.

Thursday

Work was unusual. Three of us drove to another town 45 minutes away, and, upon arrival, found out that the city water is undrinkable because of E-coli and that there is a boil-water advisory. Someone said the sewer part of the water got mixed in with the water supply somehow. I thought it all got mixed in together anyway and was all bleached and sanitized and chemicalized and filtered all together. Schools were closed, some restaurants were still open, and our workshop we were going to attend was still going on. When the three of us arrived at the workshop we were attending, one of the instructors was passing out registration forms to the three of us. We all have the same job title. She asked me if I was the assistant to one of the men. She didn't ask anyone else that question. Was it a gender stereotype? Am I automatically the suspect subservient subject because I am a female person? Maybe. Was it that I look too young? I don't know. What if I looked 30 years older than I do? Would I have gotten that same question? What if I were a man? Would I have gotten that same question? Did I do something to project the notion that I was an assistant? Someone told me recently that I need to project more self confidence. Would that have made a difference? Does it really matter?