I heard!

This week I listened for continuing education credit to a judge talk about the importance of listening. I've been thinking about it for the past several days. This is a kind man, who thinks it's important to be respectful and civil and courteous when engaged in the practice of law. This civility he speaks of is a rule of professional responsibility ... and I was happy when I read it for the first time .... but, oh-what-a-surprise, it is not necessarily followed. The best thing he said was that when a person makes a decision about what someone else is saying, that person has stopped listening and fails to hear the whole message. It sounded pretty basic, but profound, and it was beautiful. So many of us are not good listeners. It made sense to me that it is because we prematurely judge (or just judge) and therefore tune out before we should. I've been talking a lot about listening lately, thinking about how good it feels when I know and feel that the person I'm talking to heard everything I said, and how bristly and frustrated and edgy I can get when I know someone has tuned out or will never get it because judgments have been made and I feel with pain that that person has nothing else to hear.