Courage

Trying to let all that self-perpetuating negativity about yesterday and Sunday fade away today ... my mind was occupied by middle school talent. What is a talent? After today I know that a talent is evidenced by standing in the middle of the middle school gym in front of 300 people and doing karaoke. Or something close to it. Talent happens because of the time commitment of lessons or practice. It gets noticed a little better when you happen to be considered beautiful and you have charisma, or you have something a little extra, like a good prop. Talent consisted of about 15 acts of singing, three dancing acts, eight piano acts, one violin, one cello, one harp (Stairway to Heaven, which always gives me a vision of the late 1980s), one juggling act, and one yo-yo guy.
I was overwhelmed by the feeling of what it feels like to be 13. I sat in the bleachers in the gymnasium for a total of four hours today because I sat through two events, one in the morning and one in the evening. I think that has to do with the fact that I can't turn my back a certain way now and I have this sharp pain in it and I feel grumpy. The air in the gym was stagnant and hot, and the unmentionable mix of odors swirling all around me was suffocating.
I thought about the talent shows from my junior high and high school. The high school acts were a lot more creative and entertaining than the ones from junior high. I'm pretty sure no one who went to my high school when I was in 12th grade will ever forget the guy who wore overalls and did the Vanilla Ice song. I ran into him about eight years ago. He recognized me, but I didn't recognize him. He made me remember by referring to what was either his most proudest or most embarrassing moment. He talked about the Vanilla Ice reference like it was on his business card or something. Talent takes courage.