Little Things

Today was going unreasonably bad. I think it's because I had dessert for breakfast. The whole idea of positivity was seeming impossible. The sunny, bright sky was mocking me with its perfection while I was miserable. The smile someone gave me was bubbling with evil and insincerity. I was grumpy until I had more dessert later on, after some bread with pepperoni in it. I read some advice about imagining that the day was beginning with the seemingly limitless energy of the morning, even if it's not the morning. Then I realized that life wasn't so bad.

Forgettable

I went to a park for a festival last weekend in my hometown. She's only been coming to that hometown once or twice per year, for the past 18 years or so, and even then not even out in public, but still two people called me by my sister's name. I was thinking ... I guess it helps me take myself less seriously, which is something I could really use. I corrected them, and I said it happens just about every time I come home. I guess that's what happens when you have siblings who are girls like myself. We're practically the same person.

So hopeful, so illogical.

I woke up today with a single thought that calmed me and made my day better. It was after a long nap. I thought that I had no justification for being unhappy because of the way someone acted, because those actions were in conformity with what I had already experienced, again and again, with that person. Disappointments would be so much easier to deal with if I could keep that in mind. I wish for something better, something more, something more positive, and then I am disappointed when someone acts in conformity with how they have acted in the past. It's illogical to expect anything different, yet I do hope for the best. I guess it's human nature.